POLITICALLY CORRECT POLICE

ARE WE ALREADY IN A NANNY STATE?

In this installment of my bloc I am introducing my imaginary co-worker and evil twin brother and since Tommy Lee Jones and I are de-facto twins in that we share the same birth date I guess Homer is in fact my de-facto imaginary triplet. But since Tommy Lee Jones and I are not really related we do not actually have a relationship whereas Homer and I go back to the days when I would search for our friend Ralph in toilets. But I digress and as I get older I tend to digress more and more often. Homer is a fine fellow though he tends to be rather rude and crude at times and is politically correct challenged, unlike your truly. Due to the fact that he and I look alike I sometimes get blamed for him burping in church or at funerals. On the other hand he has a wonderful sense of what is wrong with the world and is always happy to share his knowledge with anyone who will listen to him.

THE PC POLICE

Have you noticed that the PC Police are now saying that American flags should be outlawed or at least from apartment complexes? This is because it could offend other people living in the complex. Prior to 1970 most people were proud to have an American flag visible from their home or business. Now days to appease minorities, non-Christians and draft dodgers, the majority has to bend to the will of the minority.

If a public school or state university or college has a rule in place to the benefit of the majority and they get a complaint from just one parent or even an outside organization they will change the ruling because they would rather appease these groups than be sued. Sometimes it is just cheaper to change than pay for court costs. My question I suppose is where does it stop? I call this Creeping change cause by litigation.

Our nation has become litigation happy and it costs the consumer billions of dollars each year in updating costs of the product, cost of the enhanced packaging. Also do to silly litigation it has also added costs to health insurance.

Have you looked at a wheel barrow and noticed the warnings label on the side? "Not for highway use". For a hot air blow dryer,"Do not use in bath tub." On OTC medications the warnings takes up take up over half the label and sometimes even makes it difficult to find the dosage amount. Why can't we take responsibility for our own actions or inaction's?

Wash Them Veggies, Homer!

My wife Ruth tells me that on one of her trips to Mexico, she witnessed a veggie picker relieving himself on the ground next to the veggies he was picking. Is it not strange there is no warning label on the lettuce?

At the same time, when we buy clothes, how often do we simply start wearing them once we get home, without washing them first and don't get me on cooking chicken with out washing it. God only knows what grubby hands have touched the chicken or the shirt we just bought. Hey Homer, do you think anyone may have dropped that chicken on the muddy and bloody floor that you are cooking with washing it? Gag me with a Mack truck!

A factory is a dirty place, pure and simple. Common sense says to wash new stuff before we use it but do we need a warning label to tell us to do this common sense thing. Actually in Homer's case, yes.

THE WORLD AIN'T THE SAME AS YOUR DADDY'S WORLD, HOMER.

No, the world is more complex than it was when I was a kid. Back then, a woman who was a stay-at-home-mother may have let the neighbors kids come to her house until the school bus arrived. Now days, due to all the frigging senseless litigation's going on around the country, a stay-at-home-mom who volunteers to let the neighbor kids stay at her house between the time other parents have gone off to work and the time the school bus arrives, by law has to purchase a day care license. This actually happened recently and because someone reported this nice kind hearted person to the police, she could end up going to prison for being basically a one person neighborhood watch.

OMG HOMER IAROTFLMFAO!

Getting back to hidden or camouflaged changes, one of the biggest villains in our society these days is not conservatives, liberals, non-Christians or even people of color. It is Twitter, Cell phone texting and TEENAGERS. Teenagers, are our biggest mortal enemy in life. Why is it that a person who has been on the Earth a shorter time than the length of time I have owned some of my under wear, thinks they know far more of life than I do? asked Homer.

Have you been a restaurant and had some young kid who is sporting a Mohawk asks you,

"Howzitgoing guys?" Or "Canigetchu anytin else, guys?" I don't know about you, but my wife, mother, sister or daughter is not a guy. If I wanted a guy to be my wife I would be in a gay relationship or a gay marriage but I choose not to. Not saying being in a gay relationship or marriage is a bad thing. Speaking of Gays wanting to marry, I for one can not understand this notion. I have yet to find some guy I would want to kiss let alone marry but to each his or her own. Anyway getting back to texting and twittering and all the stuff teenagers do with their thumbs. Can you imagine what it must be like for an English teacher these days trying to read a ,"What I did over Summer vacation essay. Here is my attempt going by my IM with my grand niece.

Wt I dd ovr Smr Vac.

By Krissie Collins

Omg it wz fntstc all th bz @ th bch & th wtr wz so wrm..Tommy iz sooooo drmy & he hz a nw cr tht iz so fst. I hp he dsnt gt a tkt........

I wonder these days where will the great writers come from once I am gone?

Is that your pocket calling you or are you just having fun, Homer?

I also wonder if teenagers are developing extra strong thumbs with all the use on the keyboard.

I have seen groups of teen age girls walking down the street from school and each one of them is talking on their cell phone and I wonder, could they actually be talking to one another? It has gotten so bad that I doubt that teenagers remember what it is like to actually talk to the person face to face. And don't me going on all the four letter word coming out of their Innocent little faces. Tell me, can a teenager say a complete sentence in this day of age without the use of, fuck, shit, pussy, or prick and that is from the girl teenagers.

So how will all this texting , twittering and foul language affect us in the future? As society brakes down and no one can talk to another soul face to face? Will people separate themselves from each other even more than they are now? Personally I have not sent a snail mail letter via the post office, to anyone in years. I have my reasons that being that the postage is so costly and slow. Whereas Emails are Free and faster. But writing Emails most people over the age of 50 are still capable of using real words and can even combine multiple words to make a complete paragraph. Twittering and texting is sort of like Morris code or secret sign language that only young people have the desire to learn. But why is this happening? Is it pure laziness, speed or what. All I know is that if a person does something long enough and often enough for their own personal stuff the bad habits follow them to the real business world. Stuff like when they get a job.

RESUME

Krissie Collins

May 10, 2020

I m lookng 4 a jb wr I cn shr mi xpr in wrtig 4 mi hishl nzppr & I m sr I wl be n ast 2 yur orgzn.

I probably have too many letters for some of the words but since I do ever twitter or text anyone, this is.......th bst I cn du.

When did we start getting so frigging sloppy, Homer?

After I got out of the Marine Corps, I worked in several big corporate offices in the Denver. It was a time when women still wore dresses, high heels and makeup and men wore a suit, tie and leather shoes to the office. Everything was pretty formal and it seemed to me in retrospect that people took pride in the way they looked. Back then, men looked like men and women just looked sexy, but I digress. This was a time before dress down Fridays or business casual. Two terms some of you younguns may not have ever heard but ask your parents they can fill you in. It was cubical hell, as I fondly remember my work environment. Not unlike a Prairie Dog town where little prairie dogs can be seen looking out of there little burrows in search of danger. This is where they put 100-6X6 padded cubical cells in long rows, with desks attached to the cubical walls. In some cases they could actually be smaller than some jail cells. Unlike actual prison cells we were only in them 10 hours a day and I think some prisons lock up the inmates for 8 hours a day.

Around 1998 I was working at Oppenheimer Funds in Denver. about this time a new term came about, Dress Down Friday. That was accept when there was a board meeting or some other hoy-tea-toy-tea function, then we would go to business casual. The idea I guess came from some government sponsored research, that probably coast $100,000,000.00. This government sponsored study found that: if a person were given the freedom to choose what attire they wore to work, they would be more functional and productive. I guess Fridays were not seen as being very productive since most of the managers left early to drive up to Winter Park for a weekend of skiing. Letting the Philistines down in the dudgeon, I am sorry, I mean the cubicle offices, wear approve relaxed clothing they would be more productive. In a later post I will list the actual approved attire for a days work in a typical office in Denver. I do not understand why taking off a tie is going to make me more productive but what the hey, I can't stand the dang thing anyway, but I digress. Things were going along pretty good and during the following summer they even allowed the women folk to wear shorts. Sometimes a good thing, sometimes a bad thing. It was not long before some women, I won't point fingers after all these years, went so far as to wear black leather mini skirts to work. Now, on some women I have no complaint but a 300 pound woman in a black mini skirt is sort of like putting 500 pounds of potato's into a gallon size paper bag. And that ain't a pretty sight, Homer. "Speak for you self", says Homer.

After a year or two of the dress down Fridays, except for, "Business Casual Friday"( approved business casual will be listed in a later blog), the powers-that-be decided that, "By George, we have actual adults working here" Powers-that-be, always talk like that. "Imagine that", smirks Homer. At that point they gave us guidelines of what was not acceptable dress and from that point further we were allowed to come into work seven days a week dressed the way we felt, as long as it followed the guide lines list. And as I mentioned this was longer than the list of names in the NYC telephone book.

DOES CASUAL DRESS MAKE A MORE PRODUCTIVE EMPLOYEE?

That is the question of the ages. These days I could be sitting here naked as a Jay bird in front of this computer and put out the same volume as I could if I were dressed in a coat and tie. The down side of working by ones self is the size of the Christmas office party, the upside is that I get to drink all of Homers beer since he is not really real. At the time we did the paradigm shift of moving from formal to casual, I really didn't see any change in my output. The problem was not so much the clothes as the distractions in the office. "Homer, I am not talking about some twenty something girls in shorts." The problem in my case was that at the same time we got to go dress down everyday, Oppenheimer put all our computer work on the Internet. Amazing how many cartoon strips one can view on the Internet, says Homer. As all documents would come into the company mail room, they would be scanned into the system and sent cyberly to the designated department. Unlike the airlines, the document did not end up in Iceland. All the work from that point forward was done in Gooeys to save time and man power. Thus our computers were all hooked up to the Internet. It was the late late 1990's and not everyone had a private computer at home to "surf the net". It was like a kid going to a toy or a candy store and was able to sample everything in sight all day long as long as you didn't get caught . Before Oppenheimer went to a Gooey systems, all documents came to the department in hard copy and the computer terminals on our desks were what was called dumb terminal.

When the company changed from sending all hard copy to the departments where they would be processed to scanning each document, everyone became paranoid and depressed. The paradigm of handling hard paper document to viewing the same document on a computer was a traumatic event. It was sort of like going for a boat ride on the SS Minnow with no life jacket knowing Gilligan was in control. For lots of us it was the first time we had no access via the Internet and they were going to pay us to do this, shoot I would do it for free. This is a paradigm shift of giving employees access to the Internet has affected almost every business in the world and even though it has allowed us more flexibility and speed it has also allowed us more time to goof off. It is as if nature hates a vacuum...hmmm where have I heard that?

GETTING BACK TO POLITICALLY CORRECT POLICE.

During the First World War, British Ministry of Information official Arnold Bennett used the expression politically correct in vetting language for “appropriateness”for the very first recorded time.

For me, the first time I saw actual Politically Correct Police in action was November 2, 1967. He was a big feller, an SP ( shore patrol or MP)if you will and riding along with us on the Liberty bus in Subic Bay in the Philippines. He was there to make sure that no happy go lucky Marine call the Navy a bunch of pussies rough any sailor up. Remember, it is unkind to our military bothers, who wear a really cool Dixie cups on their heads, a pussy or squid, as it just hurts their feelings. We all know Sailors are a bunch of winy cry babies after all, right? Another thing that is not politically correct pushing sailors off the liberty boat on the way from the ship to the liberty port. "But Sir, he is a Squid and Squids live in the ocean", complained Homer.

"Do unto other before they can do crap to you", says Homer. But the proper version is, "If you ain't got nothing nice to say, keep your pie hole shut, Homer".

DIVERSITY, AIN'T WE ALL THE SAME?

With so many people in our country coming from somewhere else, it is being a good Christian to treat others as we would want them to treat us. "Even though we all know them rag heads just want to jihad our butts and pillage and rape our wives", says Homer.

Hey Homer, now you have more than one wife?

"Just seems like it at times." says Homer, as he sucks another Coors.

DIVERSITY IN A REALLY SMALL TOWN

Back in the hometown of my youth, Fort Bragg California. The terms: Diversity and being politically correct, were not part of our world. I lived in a "Vanilla White World". Protected from people of color, we all knew that if they moved into our little town, it would just lower our property values. They would also end up raping and pillaging our wives (never did know anyone who did have more than one wife in my life). Back then we were protected by the pearly white Masons and by our very vigilant all white police force of four cops. commity as she has a deep rooted fear of the outside world to this very day.

The only people of color in my home town back before Woodstock, was some locale American Indians, some Italian families and some Portugese families. I do remember one time I was on the high school track team and they were taking the group picture for the year book. Someone yelled out to Archie Dunsing," Hey Dunsing, smile so we can see you." Words like this can hurt a person even though Archie, being used to this stuff, walked it off. One can't help wondering what he was thinking and how badly it scared him for the rest of his life.

We have come along way from the days prior to Woodstock, the Summer of Love and the Viet Nam war. But I keep thinking that the changes our country has been forced to make may have made some people on the left, only long for more and more change.

Is the act of getting one's way or making changes on a national stage a form of adiction?